Yesterday, I went into the city to spend the day with my friend (I won't say who for a reason). It has been quite some time since we last hung out, and like the last time and every other time it was amazing. Great conversation, great food, great sightings, great company, great time! The only thing I would have changed was the weather. LAAAWWD, was it brisk out!
In addition to my friend being there, a good friend of his was also in attendance. He turned out not to be the jackass I once thought he was. Definitely, a cool guy that I'd associate myself with. An overall good guy. It just so happens that my friend likes this "friend" of his. He's actually liked him for quite some time. About 2 to 3 years to be exact. The problem is that my good friend likes this guy a lot and can't seem to figure out why this dude has yet to respond to him with a relationship. From what they've both told me, they did give it a try once before..dating of some sort that is. It didn't work out the way they both wished it had; which resulted in a quick end. So within these recent months they have been more of "friends with benefits", in addition to dating outside of the "friendship". I decided to take it upon myself to ask my friend's, dude, why aren't they "official". I just didn't get it like many others.
I was very pleased with this dude's response, which was that he was too afraid of losing my friend...that is if things had gone wrong. I've heard this before...it was all too familiar. Where the person tells you,
"I'd rather have you as a friend - I'd hate for things to go wrong, and not have you at all."
It's nice to hear, but sometimes I am like "just give it a chance". My point is, I think too many people try to have their cake and eat it, too. This happens way too much. I think it would be nice if people would be more ballsy, and just put themselves out there and make a commitment. It's all a lot of work; relationships, friendships, friends with benefits. But the best commitment is investing your time into that one special person. We can't always expect everything to go well and go as planned. Certain things in life (like relationships) need spontaneity, and in relationships that can mean good or bad. And bad could be the most petty dispute between the two or you.
So like I said, I was pleased...and that was because he was honest with me. He was honest with my friend, too. He also made it very clear that it was something that he has told my friend before...more than once to be completely clear. Now THAT I did not know. My boy made it seem like he had no clue...at least that is the impression I got the night he text me about how pissed he was...well I won't say why he was pissed. Fact of the matter with that is, if you know where the person stands then it could mean that its decision making time for you. Its up to you to continue being the friends with benefits, or be just a friend, or even end it all together. I'm sure many have been in this position one time or another. But who is to blame really...you, or them?
I think for the future my friend will know what is what with this dude. And I truly wish them the best in their decision. I will say, though they are not a couple...they'd make a really nice one. Go for it.