Everything.

I have everything a guy could need: a good job with good pay, my own apartment, food in my fridge, clothes on my back, family (kind of), friends, and so much more. Thankfully I've gotten to a place where I am legitimately happy, however I feel something is missing. Totes not satisfied and crying about it all a la Britney in "Lucky", circa Oops! days.

Not too sure if it's because of Wil's 1 year anniversary quickly approaching (April 12th), but I'm just uber emotional. I'm definitely ready to move on with my life completely. Then all of this emotional mess happens. I was always the boy without a heart...now, I feel. Yay me >insert eye-roll here<. The hard part of all of this is actually falling for someone and having that same someone equally fall for me. I mean, yeah, there's someone on my mind. It's too new and fresh for me to even fathom what will be, but I know what could be.

After much thought I just know that I'm ready to be a boyfriend again. I want those butterflies, and that exciting feeling when I see them calling my phone. That feeling when you're going to be with them that day and you've looked forward to it all week. You know, that feeling when you're walking towards them and you're so excited, yet you tell yourself, "don't smile too hard you crazy bishhh!" That feeling of knowing someone is by your side and has your back no matter what. Someone to grow with and share your world with. Long term. Not a fling. Real shit. You wash the clothes and he helps you fold. That dude who wears a fitted and you take it off his head to take a selfie with it on and Instagram it. Haha. Nah, I want more than Instagram pictures. I want to rock it til waterfalls like Bey. I just want something real and meaningful. It's not something you rush. I'll be patient. Just hope it happens.

Actually, it will.

Randomness: Weight Gain

I was always "too thin" to everyone that I crossed paths with; until now. About 2 years ago I got really sick due to severe acid reflux (yuck) and wound up losing about 13 lbs. At the time, Me losing 12 lbs was like someone that weighed 200 dropping down to 175. I looked crazy. For the first time I was able to see my actual size, but I was still comfortable. I was 141, and dropped to 128. My face was terribly thin, and my body...well, yeah. I looked a hot ass mess. Now 2 years later, I gained it all back and then some. I am sitting at 149. But my weight looks - maybe FEELS a hell of a lot more than 149. I told my boyfriend that once he starts up at this gym by us (we just moved) to let me know so that I can drop a pound or two. My major concern is toning. I wants to be ripped the fuck up. I want abs of steel and an ass that is firm as hell (since I have an ass now). But overall, I'd like to look and feel healthy. And once I get to where I want to be, BEST BELIEVE you will see my ass proud as hell posted up on my blog with a lack of clothing.

MmmmHMMM! *in my Phaedra voice*

Belated.

I'm soooooooooo late with this post. SMH!! Happy Holidays & Happy New Year to all followers, readers, passer-byers, and everyone else!! There are updates and things to say, but Basketball Wives is coming on...and I have to watch these pretty hot messes with money. Lol. Love you all, and BIG *hugs*

-Donté

Alterations & Adjustments.

You'll notice that my blog will be going through some changes over the next few days...or even weeks until I get to what I want it to be, looks-wise. I'm just feeling like it's a little blah. I'll still be here and if I feel the need to blog, then i will. Just trying to make it more appealing. Over it. Lol.

Wisful Thinking: Clubs

You know, I really wish that there still was a nightclub in the city from back in the day. Now, when I say "back in the day" I mean the 20's-50's. That was definitely the time period to be 18 and over, and going out to have a good time! I feel like all we have today are these wack clubs where everyone is booty shaking, groping, pill-popping, getting it on in bathroom stalls, and falling over drunk. It's just a mess.

Since I lack a social life, I'm here (on a Friday night) reading about Lena Horne and Dorothy Dandridge on Wikipedia just wishing that I could have experienced seeing ladies like that take the stage. I came across this part about the Cotton Club, in New York where Lena Horne took the stage for the very first time as a chorus girl. Also, I read up on the original Latin Quarter before it was shut down, and reopened; shut down and reopened; shut down and reopened; shut down and renamed/reopened; shut down and reopened with the original name with a twist: "LQ's." The other one was the famous Copacabana - amazing!

Why is it that we can't have places like these, today? I know part of it has to do with money, and that getting celebrities or performers to come and perform costs SOOOO MUCH money today. Also, the people that go out today don't seem to take care of the places they go to. Some do, but some definitely don't. I just wish there was a place where a Gaga could do a set one night, then Janet the next, or an Erykah, followed with an aspiring or up-and-coming singer/songwriter. At this place you would hear amazing performers do their sets, and also enjoy the company of friends over drinks and conversation. Plus, there wouldn't be any crazy groupie action going on or fans rushing the stage to attack the perosn performing. UGGHHHH! How I wish this could happen.

Enough with my boring Friday night random thoughts. I'm sorry for those that actually read this thinking it was important. But I'm such a wishful thinker.

Old Friend; New Friend

Let me tell you guys a quick story:

Back in March of 2007, I had a falling out with someone that was my REALLY good friend. He was one of those people that I kept very close to me and I ran to him whenever times were rough, and vice versa. It was a situation all over a birthday dinner that just turned very ugly, very fast. In the end, we wound up not talking - 3 years years he hits up an acquaintance of mine and has him pass the message for me to hit him up.

Today was the day that I got this message and I thought, "Why not talk to him? I still miss him - a LOT!" So I proceeded to emailing him, and long story short we managed to talk everything out and put the past behind us. I would love to have him back in my life. He was an amazing friend then, and I don't see why he can't be one now. I strongly believe that in that period of time he was surrounded by people that may have influenced his decision making negatively, and that could be why things turned out the way they did. Although that may not be a good excuse for things to go the way they did, it seems to make a lot of sense to me. I'm just glad he found a way to reach out to me.

What I find sad is that there are "people" in my life now that have been for a while that can't seem to do anything but point fingers at everyone else when things go wrong. "They" are never wrong, but the world is always at fault. I want for "them" to own up to their faults and be a man/woman about theirs. Be an adult and admit that things aren't the way they were or should be. And if its something that "they" want to change, then actually work on changing them. Talk is cheap. End of story.

I feel so relieved. And I can't explain why. It's a good feeling, though. On a side note - I had an interview for Janie & Jack (the baby store...random, I know) and it went well. So I may end up there in addition to BBW. I'll keep you posted.

No More Snow!

YAY! We can go outside, again!

Yesterday, we were snowed in because of the recent weather conditions. It snowed all day yesterday, and the day before that. Its still really icy out, though, and bad in ceratin spots. Regardless, I am just glad I am able to get out and do things.

Ok...that's all. Lol.

Also, my deepest sympathy goes out to the people of Chile who have been struck by a horrible earthquake. Click Here to read more about the disaster.

Have a good day, Everyone!

PAPA-Paparazzi.

Anderson & Donté, February 13th - Parking garage of hotel.

(Wasn't planned or posed...just happened *shrugs* LOL)

Random: Availability

I find myself bein way too available for everyone, yet when in return I can't seem to get anyone to make time for shit. Its not anything that's major to me, but it is definitely something I need to work on. That goes for making time to see people, calling people back, responding to text messages, etc. I need to chill and let people "miss" me a bit. Its a constant thing of me rushing to respond to a text because I don't want anyone to think I am ignoring them. Even when I work and I don't respond, people are like, "what the hell...HELLOO!" Ummm...it's called working. Is it just me or did I miss something?! I don't get paid to text, booboo. I get paid to pay for the texting. Chill.

Just a random thought. Going to work on that. Leaving people alone and vice-versa. I don't see my friends being super eager to get in touch with me like that *folds arms and turns head* lol.

Later..stomach hurts. Ouch.