Everything.

I have everything a guy could need: a good job with good pay, my own apartment, food in my fridge, clothes on my back, family (kind of), friends, and so much more. Thankfully I've gotten to a place where I am legitimately happy, however I feel something is missing. Totes not satisfied and crying about it all a la Britney in "Lucky", circa Oops! days.

Not too sure if it's because of Wil's 1 year anniversary quickly approaching (April 12th), but I'm just uber emotional. I'm definitely ready to move on with my life completely. Then all of this emotional mess happens. I was always the boy without a heart...now, I feel. Yay me >insert eye-roll here<. The hard part of all of this is actually falling for someone and having that same someone equally fall for me. I mean, yeah, there's someone on my mind. It's too new and fresh for me to even fathom what will be, but I know what could be.

After much thought I just know that I'm ready to be a boyfriend again. I want those butterflies, and that exciting feeling when I see them calling my phone. That feeling when you're going to be with them that day and you've looked forward to it all week. You know, that feeling when you're walking towards them and you're so excited, yet you tell yourself, "don't smile too hard you crazy bishhh!" That feeling of knowing someone is by your side and has your back no matter what. Someone to grow with and share your world with. Long term. Not a fling. Real shit. You wash the clothes and he helps you fold. That dude who wears a fitted and you take it off his head to take a selfie with it on and Instagram it. Haha. Nah, I want more than Instagram pictures. I want to rock it til waterfalls like Bey. I just want something real and meaningful. It's not something you rush. I'll be patient. Just hope it happens.

Actually, it will.