Friday, March 26, 2010

Friend or Foe? Pt. 2

I finally had that sit down with my friend about the status of our friendship, and to discuss the issues we were having. Although, I expected some back and forth and maybe a little "drama"; what I didn't expect was having certain things thrown in my face.

We decided to have our sit-down at Panera Bread, on Monday night after I had gotten out of work. Once we got our food, we sat down and started to discuss the matters at hand. He started by apologizing for making feel, "like a friend of convenience." As an FYI: my issues with him were that I felt like a friend of convenience...one he called only when he didn't have anyone else to hang with or nothing to do, that I was left out a lot, and that he was playing himself trying to take someone else's man's time. Sorry, I said it! And?! Anywho...he went on to say that he didn't want to mesh the time that he had with me or anyone with the time he spent with the guy he likes (we'll call him Joe). So ME, being the good friend I thought I was being told him the truth which was, "Ummm..you're not entitled to that time with him - he's not your man!"

My friend got really offended and started to question me on my relationship as well, talking about the beginnings of Wil and I. That definitely pissed me off, but I kept my cool and admitted to my wrong-doings. Fact of the matter is, he made is sound like I cheated on my ex to get with Wil, which is not true. He said it with this look on his face like he was getting snarky with me, and I was ready to slap a bitch up. He had this look in his eye, and his lip curled up like it always does when he's angry. I lost my cool and went off on a rampage - explained to him how YES I was with someone and realized "you know..I'm not happy and I'm ready to end this," and once it was done, that's when I moved on. I wasn't trying to get with a guy while I had one, and no one was pushing up on me while I was with my ex...sorry, I didn't have a YOU! it just so happened that I had someone in mind before I actually ended it (I KNOW..it's wrong, but AT LEAST I didn't mess with anyone..that's just dirty and wrong - so 3 years ago, btw). I then reitterated that Joe is not his man, and how dare he try to criticize me for something that didn't happen...but then he tries to make it seem like its okay for him to want another guys, man. It's just not kosher to me. It's stuff like that, that gives a lot of gay guys the bad names they have today. It's a No, NO!

After about 2 hours of good conversation, and back and forth arguing I came to the conclusion that he may try to be a better friend. By being a better friend that means I'm not the one he calls as a "last resort", and maybe I'll receive and invite or two. As far as everything else, I know it won't change. It's not the first time we've had this conversation, and I'm sure it won't be the last. Let's just say I may not be as forgiving next time - if there is a next time. From not keeping in contact with me for a year, because he had a man...to calling me when he's bored - weird. I genuinely care for him, but sometimes I question things.

Anyone have any thoughts. I know..trust me, I know this all sounds like a bunch of rubbish. It's super petty and overly dramatic. I KNOW! But I think we all know how it is to get close to someone, trust them with your life, and then they switch up on you. It's wishy-washy. Comments and thoughts are greatly appreciated. Goodnite.

1 comment:

love, keys said...

whats most important is that you called him out on the things you need to and didnt just let it slide ( jsut because he is your friend ). just wait it out see if he actually does change! dont take 3 steps forward if hes only willing to take 1 you know? <3